Chapter-5: Verbal Messages

• 10/6/2014 ---->> No lecture! !   But..........  we continued our group presentation. 

So, we just started our class with the presentation for the third principle of Verbal message.

     3.  Messages Depend on Context / Abstraction 

• even same words and  behaviours can be different based on the circumstances. (e.g. a wink)

• Cultural Context

                     - messages differ based on individual's cultural.
                     - has 4 principles.

• The principles of Cooperation- makes an effort to help and understand each other while communication.
  - consists of 4 maxims. 

1. The maxim of quality - means to be true and not to lie.
2. The maxim of relation - means to talk about which is related to the conversation.
3. The maxim of manner - means to be clear, brief and arrange thoughts into meaningful pattern.
4. The maxim of quantity - means to provide necessary information.
• The Principles of Peaceful Relations
  - to keep peaceful relationships
  - showing the expression of agreement even we do not.
• The Principles of Face-Saving- not to be shy or afraid especially in the public.
• The Principles of Self-Denigration- to avoid being very proud for accomplishments
  - to minimize talents and abilities during conversation
  - to raise the others' ideas, opinions and point

• Gender Context

                    - women's speech are more polite than men's.
                    - women would like to use indirect speech  in making requests and ordering while men tend to                          use direct speech
     4.  Messages Vary in Politeness

• Polite messages reflect in positive ways to the others and respect the others' right to be independent. 
• Direct message is clear and gives direct message to the others but it is less polite. 
• Indirect message is very polite. However, it can be confused the others' understanding. 

     5.  Messages Vary in Assertiveness

• Assertive people are more positive and willing to assert their own rights.
• They speak their minds and welcome others' doing likewise.
• But assertiveness is not always the most desirable response.
• There are some suggestions for communication assertiveness.
• Describe the problem -- means not to use the message that have meaning of blaming to others.
• State how this problem affects you -- means to tell your opinions, thoughts and feelings.
• Propose solutions -- means to suggest useful and workable solutions which doesn't lose the pride.
• Confirm understanding -- means to make sure that they got your meaning clearly and fully understand.

     6.  Messages Can Deceive

• Deceive- is also same as lying. Some people tell the truth but some lie. so "What is lying?"
• Lying -- the act of sending messages which involve both verbal and non-verbal messages intend to give wrong information to another person.

              4 Types of lies

1. Pro-social Deception -- This type is that we lie in order to get something which is good for us and also for others in the end
2. Self-Enhancement Deception - This type of lying is in order to make ourselves good and is being proud of ourselves more than we can do in front of others.
3. Selfish Deception -- this type is we lie to protect ourselves but we do not harm anyone.
4. Anti-Social Deception -- we lie about someone or something we dislike or we hate because we intend to harm them.